Yesterday my job involved getting a delivery into a very secure and guarded area. My company had some shelves made to store parts. I had no paperwork for my delivery and no idea how to go about getting these shelves across that magical secure line. First as anything in Africa, I ended up waiting for 2 hours for the truck to arrive. It was promised to be there at 12 sharp. I ended up sitting in the local cafe until 2pm with the owner and on a very smooth move on his part got stuck with the bill for 4 drinks! I did later get him back though!
The truck finally pulls up, and we attempt to pull up to the first level of security. A bunch of guys sitting with AK47’s at a grass hut. They turn us away and say I have to get a vehicle pass. I go into the office, I get passed around to 3 different offices until a man name George will speak to me. George said I had a problem, and it was going to cost money for a pass. I let George know, as long as I had an official receipt on the company computer, I had no problem paying him. He said, “Impossible!”. I let him know I knew he was going to pocket the money himself and I needed to talk to his superior. Suddenly the vehicle pass book comes flying out of his desk and the price drops in half! He quickly writes out a vehicle pass and I am on my way.
I show the guards at the gate the pass. The agree to allow the truck through, until they realize the drivers don’t have personal passes. They tell me it is impossible to get the vehicle through. I explain to them I have just spent the past 6 weeks in the secured area without a personal pass and have never been questioned. He tells me because I am white. I ask him to show me his pass. He can not produce one and I ask how he is qualified to guard a secure area without a pass! After much arguing, hand shaking and back slapping, he agrees to let me though if I buy him a Pepsi. I was prepared for this and have a bag of 6 soda pops in the van. I pull one out and the truck gets waved though!
Further into the secured area, another guard stops us for a check on our passes and credentials. I don’t even waist time on arguing with him, instead I just pull out another can of Pepsi and tell him he looks hot. He puts his gun down and opens the can, we drive off.
About 1/2 km into the facility, a truck of SPLA soldiers stops us. There are 6 of them all with weapons and a 50 cal gun mounted in the back of the truck. They surround the truck wanting to see our credentials. I start to do mental calculations on how many Pepsi’s I have left and come up way short. I need something else to get out of this jamb! Wait! I have a box of cookies, and carton of cigarettes (for a coworker) I bought at the local super market this morning! I offer up the bounty of cookies and Pepsi, but only if they escort us to our destination as wink, wink I am lost and need assistance. In reality, I was out of bribes and as long as these guys stayed with me I wouldn’t be bothered by anyone else!! They agreed and with lots of hand shaking and back slapping they escort us and even help us off load the truck!
On our way out each of the guards that stopped us earlier gives us a big smile and wave some toasting us with the cans of Pepsi. We are all happy! In Africa, if you need to get things done, a case of soda pop, cigarettes and sugary treats can get you into and out of almost any situation!
This should be an interesting expense form submission! I bet the accountant in Canada is going to question on this one!!
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